what is love?

i think a lot of people have the wrong idea about love.

i mean, i've never been in love myself, and you're probably thinking "what does SHE know about love?!" well, i think it's perfectly natural if you're asking that. although your family and friends will probably be concerned that you're talking to your computer again.

anyway, back to love. i've come into a time in my life when i've started thinking about this question a lot. and by that, i mean it's never left my mind.

for a long time, i thought i was in love. there was this boy that was in a lot of my classes, and i never really thought much of him. he wasn't extremely attractive, didn't have lautner abs, never talked to him. but then i think i fell in love with the idea of him.

for a whole year, whenever i thought of him, my heart would literally stop beating and he took over my mind. when i was in the same room as him, it was worse. i got dizzy, nervous, happy, ecstatic, self conscious, clumsy, breathless.

i convinced myself that i was in love, because i was in love not with his appearance, but with his soul. i never said more than two words to him, but i was in love with his personality, and i felt like he would understand me, because i thought i understood him.

i know now that it is impossible to love someone you've never really talked to, never have hung out with, never knew their day-to-day habits, seen their highs and lows. what i was feeling; that wasn't love, that was obsession. i loved everything that surrounded him, but when it came down to it, he was a complete stranger.

getting older, i've seen a lot of my friends and people i know get boyfriends, girlfriends, and i've been paying attention more to love in an effort to solve it like the DaVinci Code.

through what i've seen in my life so far, i think love is happiness. love is always wanting to be with the other person, cherishing every moment, although every moment may not be perfect. love us laughter, fun, understanding, everything you love about life.

but there's also something more: a connection that goes beyond all explanation, a code that will never be cracked, not even by Dan Brown himself. love is the eighth world wonder, it's invisible but everywhere, it's nothing but it's everything. love is everything.

and i hope i find it someday.

but i have my whole life ahead of me.

but right now, i have to fall back into reality, and realize my research paper isn't going to write itself. oh, how i love you, school.